Stories of hope
Sam's story
Sam is a nine year old boy who began counselling at the Australian Childhood Foundation twelve months ago. Sam has lived in his current home for three months. He hopes he will not have to move again 'until he's grown up and gets married'. His Mum has promised him that this house is their home forever but he is not sure he can believe that just yet. Sam has moved a total of eleven times in his short life. The longest he has lived in one place is two years but he says he does not really remember what that was like because he was just a baby. In the last three years he has changed schools five times. He says he did not bother making friends at his last school, there did not seem much point.
Sam lives with his baby sister and his mother. He sees his father every now and then. Sam's father has been violent toward his mother for most of Sam's life. Sam remembers his Dad always seemed to be yelling at his Mum and calling her names. Sometimes his Dad hit his Mum and threw things around the room. His Dad never hit Sam on purpose, although a couple of times he hurt Sam when Sam tried to stop him hitting his Mum. Sam did not really understand why the fighting happened but thought it was somehow his fault. He remembers trying really hard to be good so that there would not be any fighting.
When his parents lived together, Sam was often late for school, went without lunch or missed school altogether. His Mum seemed so sad at times he just wanted to stay at home so she would not be lonely. He says he often finds it hard to get to sleep at night and is sometimes too scared to sleep because of the nightmares. Sam says when things got really bad with Dad, he and his Mum would leave for a while. Sometimes they went to a friend's house, sometimes they stayed in a hotel for a few nights and sometimes they went to a refuge. Occasionally they stayed in the car.
Sam's mother left his father many times taking Sam with her. Sometimes they would be separated for a few days or a few weeks and sometimes more than six months. For children like Sam support and counselling is critical. Sam has clearly been greatly affected by exposure to family violence and the resulting cycle of homelessness and uncertainty. His ability to trust and feel safe with adults in his life has been significantly compromised. His social and emotional development have clearly been adversely affected. He experiences overwhelming sadness and anger. With counselling he has begun to understand and manage these strong emotions. He has made some good friends at school now. He wants to keep coming to counselling because it helps him figure out what is going on his head.
Max's story
Max was referred for counselling because he was too frightened to leave his room he was sharing with his foster brother because he was convinced that he would catch AIDS through exposure to radio waves. Max had developed this extremely distorted and debilitating view of the world from his father, who has been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. Max's father would punish Max for turning on the television without his permission by making Max run between 7 and 10 kilometres around a neighbourhood course he would mark out with special markers to ensure that Max did not slack off.
Max had already tried to kill himself once by taking about 70 paracetamol tablets he stole from his father's medicine cupboard. Max was alienated from his own world. He did not trust adults. Indeed his world was a dangerous place in which he had very little control over outcomes.
Counselling with Max gave him the opportunity to ask so many questions about how other families live. He has come to understand more about his father's mental illness. He has let his new caregivers take care of him.